Comcast vs. Unhappy Consumers

For the last couple of months Danae and I were completely cut off from the civilized world. When Comcast failed to connect our cable TV and internet we discovered that we had begun to experience the darkest reality of human existence. Life without internet was terrifying. For the first couple of weeks I experienced withdrawal symptoms including hallucinations, cottonmouth, paranoia and advanced delusional schizophrenia with involuntary bouts of narcissistic rage. Also I was bored.

Comcast doesn't care about it's customers.

Danae took it harder than me though. She drew up plans to annihilate Comcast’s entertainment empire through organized flying monkey attacks and naked Bremelo (see Sir Mixalot’s song entitled “Bremelo”), picket lines. Comcast has been unreachable while we wait for them to run a cable line to our humble abode. All of my calls go unreturned and any attempt to kidnap a technician has been a failure. We have vowed to unlease plague rats in all of Comcast’s central offices when this is all over.

Last week when I had all but given up the idea of ever having internet I discovered DSL was available to our house without a local phone subscription. 1.5 Mbps didn’t seem much better than having no internet at all but I decided I’ll take whatever I can get. I received a shiny new DSL modem in the mail about 10 days ago and tried to install it the same night. I almost went on a shooting rampage when I discovered there was no phone line attached to the phone connectors in our house. By pulling the boxes off the wall I discovered they only had about 8 inches of phone cord attached to them. The previous occupants of this place were barbarians!

Ultimately the phone technician had to come out the house and run lines in the crawl space, re-wire the connection box and cut about 300,000 feet of excess cable from the phone distribution box on the road. At the end of the day, for the first time in months we were re-connected to the internet. The same day I got a call from the independent subcontractor with Comcast who has apparently been “engineering” a cable down to our house for about 6 months. Any decent man would have spontaneously combusted on the other end of the line due to the waves of white hot anger radiating from my brain. But I guess I shouldn’t expect that kind of courtesy from a company that takes several months to perform a relatively simple task. Why the h311 should I have to beg Comcast to take my money? I want some freaking internet and preferably before we all die of old age. With the hideous price these people charge for broadband the expense of the work would be payed for in a month. Comcast = Worst ISP, VoIP and cable provider in the known world. Verizon Fi-Os save us from the hideous monster of customer disservice!!